Operation Garden Market

In 1944 the allies in WWII decided to launch what was then the largest airborne operation ever. If you are a war buff and want to know all the nifty details you can try out this link. For the rest of us the gist is this. The allies decide to take over a bunch of bridges across Germany which would open up a path for the armies to use crossing through the country. What ended up happening when bridges were destroyed was the troops getting trapped on the other side and having to evacuate eventually abandoning the mission. I realize this is a grosse generalization and I apologize to all those history geeks out there who are having a fit. I use this story as an example.

Recently I have been informed that I am pretty profound so let me try my hand again and put this out there for a thought. Recently I have spoken to a friend about a great many items. Trust, pain, strength, failure and success. I submit that none of these act independently of each other. I will use myself as an example. I am the allied forces. I reach to far, don’t plan very well and eventually have to be evacuated by a back up squadron. Then again, there are people who spend their whole lives living very quiet and probably fairly happy lives. Who do you think has it better? On the one hand the allied forces (that would be me) suffer from pain and failure ending up sort of broken and worn. But my victories are enormous and joyous. They are the things of dreams. Not always big things but the kinds of things that make you lucky to be a participant in yours and other people’s lives. Could we play it safe? Yes. Would it be very interesting? No.

I fear that the eventual conclusion to this whole conversation would be balance. Well crap. I am bad at balance. And I sure can’t rely on my stunning good looks and money to help me. Where does that leave us?

Recently a friend reminded me how important it is to trust people despite their consistent reminder that they probably don’t deserve it. Here is the quote that she used…

Trust:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will
certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of
keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an
animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid
all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your
selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it
will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable,
impenetrable, irredeemable. (The Four Loves - C.S. Lewis)

I don’t think that I need to override the incomparable Mr. Lewis but you get the idea. You can, not trust and never be hurt or take the chance, maybe get hurt and have a shot at something great.

Which leads us to pain.

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. (Lance Armstrong)

I won’t lie to you. I am in a place right now where I am pretty sure that Mr. Armstrong is full of… well, you know. But I can’t finish this thought without acknowledging that he is probably correct. Eventually the pain stops, it teaches us something and we move to the next step.

Strength

I feel like I can’t mention strength without failure but I am going to try and make this clear. Strength is the ability to not only be the strong person and lift others up but to admit when you need someone else to lift you up. I recently took a trip to China with an amazing friend. Buddhism is the prominent religion there and has very little in the way of the kind of structure that western culture is used to. It is a very tranquil thing.

In separateness lies the world's great misery, in compassion lies the world's true strength. (the Buddha)

 

Again, far be it from me to interpret greater men than myself but, did he just say that we can’t do it alone and that we need to care for each other to be strong?

 

Moving right along to support

 

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered. 
"Yes, Piglet?" 
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you." 
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

 

Is it as simple as that? My friend Jess (the person who inspired me to write this) said recently to several people…

“Thanks for being there for me every moment and not being jackasses.”

I guess that sometimes it is as simple as just being able to be sure of each other.

 

 

I would love to skip failure and go right to success but we all know that is not how real life works and much as I would like to quit real life and just go on permanent vacation to Barbados that is also not how it works.

I would like to have some profound quote for this as well but here is what all of those philosophers, writers and your shrink are going to tell you. You are a not a failure for failing at one thing. You are a failure when you don’t try. You are a failure when you just give up. You are a failure when you don’t see a bigger picture. In 1992 Donald Trump filed for bankruptcy and he made it through, toupee and all.

Success

I told you that I would get here. You didn’t believe me? Remember we talked about trust earlier, I promised that I would get you here and here we are. Unfortunately I have the same answer for you that I have for a lot of questions people ask me. If I knew the answer I would be rich and have a book deal. As it turns out all I have is this blog. Would you be really mad right now if I told you that you have to define success on your own? Oh come on I’m not that terrible. I mean you took the time to read through this whole boring thing and I haven’t even told you what happened to the allies yet.

As it turns out the allies actually lost Operation Market Garden. Bummer. But they did end up winning the war as a whole in so much as you can “win” a war. The point is this. They took the chance and jumped out there. Sometimes we may feel like we are trapped behind enemy lines with no bridge and the backup squadron is off at the bar doing shots and singing a bad version of Love Shack on the karaoke machine. But keep in mind that small victories are important. Having a friend to talk to, a cupcake on a bad day and just being held by someone in their space for five minutes all count as victories.

Hey, I don't have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I've succeeded, but I love my wife, I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success. (Dicky Fox in Jerry Maguire)

What? Me? The allied forces of Fargo?

I get up every morning and do the best I can. I screw it up. I go to bed and try to do better the next day. I keep moving forward.

Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

Are you Wally Pipp or Lou Gehrig?

The other day I was talking to a friend who told me this story. On June 2^nd, 1925 after 10 years with the New York Yankees first baseman, Wally Pipp was benched and the starting lineup altered. His replacement was a little known baseball player from Columbia University. Lou Gehrig went on to play 2,130 consecutive games for the Yankees and is considered by most to be the best baseball player of all time. That moment in time was one of extraordinary change for everyone involved especially Gehrig. A unknown, hometown boy from New York City who just wanted to play baseball that no one would have ever know about if not for one small change one day in June.

                After he told me the story he turned to me and said, “Are you Wally Pipp or Lou Gehrig?”

“I don’t know.” I answered. “You’re both.” He replied.

                I am on the cusp of change most of the time in my life. I don’t do well with things that stay the same and don’t move forward. How many moments like that happen every day? How many times do we say and do things that alter someone’s perception of life? I had someone tell me once that I was a catalyst for change, that just by my presence in a room people were motivated to change their perceptions. I think in a way we are all catalysts in different ways. The fact that we are aware of this is a different idea all together. But we are afraid of change, afraid of what is around the corner that we can’t control or don’t know about.

                To be afraid of change is to be afraid of life and to close yourself off from all the things that it might bring to you. Do not be afraid, go out into the world and see what it has to offer.

5 Things

There has been much talk lately about why I don’t currently don’t date. First of all, it’s not that I won’t date it’s just that I am not out trying to find myself a husband, have five fat babies and settle down in the mid west. I have my own stuff going on and am extremely busy. I also promised myself that I wouldn’t be unhappy again because of the way that I allow people to treat me. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to come over and keep the apartment clean and cook for me by all means do that. But I don’t feel like dating is something that is functional to my lifestyle anymore.

Recently on a car trip from Minneapolis I had a conversation with a friend about what people value in the person that they are looking for. How do we choose these things, what is important and what is not important become more complicated when you really start thinking about it. She told me to make a list. A list of 5 things. 5 things that you would be hesitant to give up in the other person. I made a list of 5 things. Since I have a habit of making very poor decisions I also have an A. and B. sub point on my list.

A.     

      A. Violent- Yep, this has been an issue for me in the past so I felt it was a good idea to remind myself.

B.     
      B. Available- Due to the whole “not dating” thing it is easy to find people who are conveniently unavailable so this is a requirement.

1.  1. Attentive to my needs- Sounds kind of girlie and needy right? But this is my damn list and I want someone to take care of me when I am sick and be nice to me when I am having a bad day.

2.     
      2.  Flexible- To say that I am random and unpredictable would be an understatement. I am not saying that I am the most important person in the world but the freedom to do the things that I need to do is important.

3.     
      3. Enjoys Culture and Arts- It would be nice to talk to someone who knows what an opera is and wouldn't actually mind going to see one on occasion. And someone who is fun enough to try all kinds of new things. Music, art, travel and anything else.

4.     
      4. Intelligent- Okay, I’m not looking for a rocket scientist but if you know where to Middle East is and that there is some thing with some guy happening there that would be great. Can you string more than five words together and form a thought of your own? Even better!

5.      
     5. Witty and Interesting- This is huge. I am easily bored and distracted. I wish that I didn’t require constant mental stimulation but there it is. Please don’t be boring and dull.

Now that I have made it clear to everyone that I am obviously very unreasonable and picky I can move onto the next thing that we talked about on this trip. Keep in mind that the trip from Minneapolis is three hours long. What started as a joke of sorts actually turned into a partially functional idea. A dating resume. It would have all the things that a job resume has on it. Past relationships, length of last relationship, reason for leaving, references, special skills. And you could have it typed up and hand it out. Then if people wanted to they could check your references and call you for an interview.

All of this sounds very sterile and cold I’m sure. But here is the problem. People get into situations that make them unhappy because they don’t think about the logical side and are so programmed to make someone else happy that they forget about the balance and themselves. I haven’t given up hope. There are lots of really good guys out there, I know because several of my friends have found them or are them. They are just not “my” guy. I have just gained the patience to let it come to me and happen on its own whenever that may be. In the words of Michael Buble, I just haven’t met you yet.

Derbyland

I have decided that being a part of roller derby is like being a zombie. I know, I know it doesn't make much sense to you now but it will all become clear soon.
First of all let me say that I became involved in derby because of my good friend, Jess. This is her hobby and I was only trying to help out. I offered to do anything that I could. When someone suggested that I announce the bout I figured that I routinely make a complete idiot of myself on a daily basis in front of 30 people so 500 hundred more couldn't do much damage. It turns out that we all got a whole lot more than we bargained for.

On Saturday, November 7th Fargo held it's first ever roller derby bout. As of 7pm when the doors opened we were still praying to sell 500 tickets and break even. I was praying that I didn't say something really really stupid and screw up the whole thing for the ladies who had actually put the work into it. By 7:30 it was pretty clear that we had more then 500 people and by the time 8pm rolled around it was clear that the building was getting full. I got lucky and had two fabulous announcers John Maddening from St. Paul and Cracked Pepper from Minneapolis come and walk me through the finer points of calling roller derby. At half time I had the extreme privilege of announcing to North Dakota's first roller derby league and to 1700 fans that they had sold out the civic center. I thought for a moment that I was going to deaf by the end of the night because of the noise that the crowd made. People were going crazy, clapping, screaming and having a generally awesome time. I was still praying to not make a complete fool of myself.

The other amazing thing about this league is that everyone who helps is a volunteer. Everyone from security to the band was there donating their time. The other amazing thing is that all of the people who volunteered asked to come back and do it again.
I suppose at this point in the story you would like to know a few things. Like who won and how did the night end. It turns out that all of the practice and hard work paid off. FMDG won their inaugural bout and then threw a huge party to celebrate. On a personal note all of the ladies came up to me afterward and told me how wonderful I was. My favorite comment of the night was “You were awesome. Can we keep you?” It turns out that they really did want to keep me and that I am now the permanent announcer for the FM Derby Girls.
So I started this little journey trying to help a friend and ended up with a whole new set of friends and extended family. It was an amazing thing.
Oh, you are still wondering how roller derby relates to zombies aren't you? Well think about it this way... When you get bitten by a zombie you have two choices. You can become a zombie or have someone shoot you. When you get involved in roller derby you are pretty much stuck there it seems. You can either stay involved or... well...
I, for one am enjoying every second. My name is Julia Childless and I love roller derby!

Free Condom.

Now that I have everyone's attention! Yup, it actually is a free condom, received at college night in Fargo, ND at the Fargo Dome.




Right away I could make all kinds of comments about how it says something about our society when they give away condoms at a college fair but we have all heard this before. Let me make it clear that I don't make a big "political" deal about a lot publicly but I will get up on my soap box and pound my pulpit about the importance of birth control until the cows come home so this is not about that. The reason for me putting this out there is that the whole exchange was so amusing to me. I was strolling through the college fair picking up free T-shirts, pens, candy, hair dye, ear plugs and anything else that people have come up with to give away. I walked past Planned Parenthood's booth which was one booth away from the Catholic Newman Center's booth. That was either a mistake or a really hilarious joke by someone!
This woman sees me glance over and shouts at me "Free Condom?!"
"Ummmm sure." I said
The guy that I was walking with, a classmate of mine says "Nice! Free condom!"
The really hilarious thing is that these things come in little packages like cheap matches and have all kinds of stuff written on them including a figure that looks like the Republican Party elephant with the phrase Protect America underneath it. As you can see by the photos this is, indeed a XL condom but I am pretty sure that I can not protect the whole of America with one extra large condom!

Finding My "Happy"

My friend Kim told me that when her boys were young the best way to clam them down was to tell them to just go off somewhere and find their happy. I am finding that for the first time in my life my happy has found me. I have evaluated many things in the last few weeks as my journey into culinary arts has started and what I have found is astounding. I don't wake up in the morning trying to be happy, I just am. I don't worry about things that I can't control and work hard on the things that I can. I enjoy the small things in life, like a conversation with a friend or sunny day.
I had someone ask my awhile back what my long term goals were. I had to joyfully answer that I had no long term goals, that I was waiting to see what life had to offer me instead of being so vain as to assume that I could decide without any help. Maybe the universe has something for me that I hadn't thought of before. Maybe it has my perfect job and perfect home and perfect match and I have to be patient and wait for it.
So, off I go into the world to find all the things that I love. So far I love food, friends, family, my dog, scuba diving, knitting, napping, eating, hot baths, swimming in a cool lake, walking barefoot in the grass, swing dancing, hugs, smiling, laughing... This may take awhile!
This year I want to try everything that I can. I will make stock, learn to ski, sky dive, sew, and travel... more. Any other thoughts?! Please submit your request in writing!

Back to Fargo

First of all let me start out by saying that I believe this phrase to be grossly overused but I am going to use it any way. I am a very blessed and lucky person. I have just returned from a three month long adventure in the Southwest United States. Las Cruces, NM to be exact. It was one of the most amazing trips of my life! There were so many things to see and people to meet. I had the chance to get scuba certified, crew a hot air balloon and see all kinds of sites... like mountains. In addition to this I lived with Candace and her fabulous family who took excellent care of me while I was there. I am alive, in one piece and happy as a clam. I felt that the best thing to happen was the one thing that people take for granted the most sometimes. The people that I met were amazing. People who do interesting things, see the world in a completely unique way and are at turning points in their lives. People ready to find their own adventures!
As for me I have returned to the Fargo/Moorhead area to finish my degree in culinary arts and look for my next big adventure. As I was coming home I found a new sense of happiness. I am still not used to people actually liking me so it was a welcome and happy surprise of sorts to find my family and friends anxiously waiting for me. I danced, knitted and got caught up with everyone. One of the people that I met on my journey emailed me not long ago and said that since I had people who were sad to see me go and people who were glad to have me back that I must be doing something right. I sure hope so because I am the happiest right now that I have ever been. I feel as though my soul has found me again and that we can face the world with a strength that I thought was lost.