Thursday, October 7, 2010

Operation Garden Market

In 1944 the allies in WWII decided to launch what was then the largest airborne operation ever. If you are a war buff and want to know all the nifty details you can try out this link. For the rest of us the gist is this. The allies decide to take over a bunch of bridges across Germany which would open up a path for the armies to use crossing through the country. What ended up happening when bridges were destroyed was the troops getting trapped on the other side and having to evacuate eventually abandoning the mission. I realize this is a grosse generalization and I apologize to all those history geeks out there who are having a fit. I use this story as an example.
Recently I have been informed that I am pretty profound so let me try my hand again and put this out there for a thought. Recently I have spoken to a friend about a great many items. Trust, pain, strength, failure and success. I submit that none of these act independently of each other. I will use myself as an example. I am the allied forces. I reach to far, don’t plan very well and eventually have to be evacuated by a back up squadron. Then again, there are people who spend their whole lives living very quiet and probably fairly happy lives. Who do you think has it better? On the one hand the allied forces (that would be me) suffer from pain and failure ending up sort of broken and worn. But my victories are enormous and joyous. They are the things of dreams. Not always big things but the kinds of things that make you lucky to be a participant in yours and other people’s lives. Could we play it safe? Yes. Would it be very interesting? No.
I fear that the eventual conclusion to this whole conversation would be balance. Well crap. I am bad at balance. And I sure can’t rely on my stunning good looks and money to help me. Where does that leave us?
Recently a friend reminded me how important it is to trust people despite their consistent reminder that they probably don’t deserve it. Here is the quote that she used…

Trust:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will
certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of
keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an
animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid
all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your
selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it
will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable,
impenetrable, irredeemable. (The Four Loves - C.S. Lewis)

I don’t think that I need to override the incomparable Mr. Lewis but you get the idea. You can, not trust and never be hurt or take the chance, maybe get hurt and have a shot at something great.

Which leads us to pain.

Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. (Lance Armstrong)

I won’t lie to you. I am in a place right now where I am pretty sure that Mr. Armstrong is full of… well, you know. But I can’t finish this thought without acknowledging that he is probably correct. Eventually the pain stops, it teaches us something and we move to the next step.

Strength

I feel like I can’t mention strength without failure but I am going to try and make this clear. Strength is the ability to not only be the strong person and lift others up but to admit when you need someone else to lift you up. I recently took a trip to China with an amazing friend. Buddhism is the prominent religion there and has very little in the way of the kind of structure that western culture is used to. It is a very tranquil thing.


In separateness lies the world's great misery, in compassion lies the world's true strength. (the Buddha)

 

Again, far be it from me to interpret greater men than myself but, did he just say that we can’t do it alone and that we need to care for each other to be strong?

 

Moving right along to support

 

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered. 
"Yes, Piglet?" 
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you." 
 A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

 

Is it as simple as that? My friend Jess (the person who inspired me to write this) said recently to several people…

“Thanks for being there for me every moment and not being jackasses.”

I guess that sometimes it is as simple as just being able to be sure of each other.

 

 

I would love to skip failure and go right to success but we all know that is not how real life works and much as I would like to quit real life and just go on permanent vacation to Barbados that is also not how it works.
I would like to have some profound quote for this as well but here is what all of those philosophers, writers and your shrink are going to tell you. You are a not a failure for failing at one thing. You are a failure when you don’t try. You are a failure when you just give up. You are a failure when you don’t see a bigger picture. In 1992 Donald Trump filed for bankruptcy and he made it through, toupee and all.
Success
I told you that I would get here. You didn’t believe me? Remember we talked about trust earlier, I promised that I would get you here and here we are. Unfortunately I have the same answer for you that I have for a lot of questions people ask me. If I knew the answer I would be rich and have a book deal. As it turns out all I have is this blog. Would you be really mad right now if I told you that you have to define success on your own? Oh come on I’m not that terrible. I mean you took the time to read through this whole boring thing and I haven’t even told you what happened to the allies yet.
As it turns out the allies actually lost Operation Market Garden. Bummer. But they did end up winning the war as a whole in so much as you can “win” a war. The point is this. They took the chance and jumped out there. Sometimes we may feel like we are trapped behind enemy lines with no bridge and the backup squadron is off at the bar doing shots and singing a bad version of Love Shack on the karaoke machine. But keep in mind that small victories are important. Having a friend to talk to, a cupcake on a bad day and just being held by someone in their space for five minutes all count as victories.

Hey, I don't have all the answers, in life, to be honest, I've failed as much as I've succeeded, but I love my wife, I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success. (Dicky Fox in Jerry Maguire)

What? Me? The allied forces of Fargo?
I get up every morning and do the best I can. I screw it up. I go to bed and try to do better the next day. I keep moving forward.
Rinse. Lather. Repeat.