5 Things

There has been much talk lately about why I don’t currently don’t date. First of all, it’s not that I won’t date it’s just that I am not out trying to find myself a husband, have five fat babies and settle down in the mid west. I have my own stuff going on and am extremely busy. I also promised myself that I wouldn’t be unhappy again because of the way that I allow people to treat me. Don’t get me wrong, if you want to come over and keep the apartment clean and cook for me by all means do that. But I don’t feel like dating is something that is functional to my lifestyle anymore.

Recently on a car trip from Minneapolis I had a conversation with a friend about what people value in the person that they are looking for. How do we choose these things, what is important and what is not important become more complicated when you really start thinking about it. She told me to make a list. A list of 5 things. 5 things that you would be hesitant to give up in the other person. I made a list of 5 things. Since I have a habit of making very poor decisions I also have an A. and B. sub point on my list.

A.     

      A. Violent- Yep, this has been an issue for me in the past so I felt it was a good idea to remind myself.

B.     
      B. Available- Due to the whole “not dating” thing it is easy to find people who are conveniently unavailable so this is a requirement.

1.  1. Attentive to my needs- Sounds kind of girlie and needy right? But this is my damn list and I want someone to take care of me when I am sick and be nice to me when I am having a bad day.

2.     
      2.  Flexible- To say that I am random and unpredictable would be an understatement. I am not saying that I am the most important person in the world but the freedom to do the things that I need to do is important.

3.     
      3. Enjoys Culture and Arts- It would be nice to talk to someone who knows what an opera is and wouldn't actually mind going to see one on occasion. And someone who is fun enough to try all kinds of new things. Music, art, travel and anything else.

4.     
      4. Intelligent- Okay, I’m not looking for a rocket scientist but if you know where to Middle East is and that there is some thing with some guy happening there that would be great. Can you string more than five words together and form a thought of your own? Even better!

5.      
     5. Witty and Interesting- This is huge. I am easily bored and distracted. I wish that I didn’t require constant mental stimulation but there it is. Please don’t be boring and dull.

Now that I have made it clear to everyone that I am obviously very unreasonable and picky I can move onto the next thing that we talked about on this trip. Keep in mind that the trip from Minneapolis is three hours long. What started as a joke of sorts actually turned into a partially functional idea. A dating resume. It would have all the things that a job resume has on it. Past relationships, length of last relationship, reason for leaving, references, special skills. And you could have it typed up and hand it out. Then if people wanted to they could check your references and call you for an interview.

All of this sounds very sterile and cold I’m sure. But here is the problem. People get into situations that make them unhappy because they don’t think about the logical side and are so programmed to make someone else happy that they forget about the balance and themselves. I haven’t given up hope. There are lots of really good guys out there, I know because several of my friends have found them or are them. They are just not “my” guy. I have just gained the patience to let it come to me and happen on its own whenever that may be. In the words of Michael Buble, I just haven’t met you yet.